Day 7 - Overcoming the Inner Critic and Embracing Self-Care

Journal Entry Day 7: Revealing strategies for personal growth and the power of choosing authenticity and health

Hello! If you're new around here, my name is Krystal and I've committed to journaling every day for a year. I write these raw journal entries. What is unique about my style of writing is that I don't necessary follow the rules or writing. My aim is to write as closely to how I talk. What you will also find in my journal entries is transparency. I give you front row seat to my inner dialogue. That inner critic who shows up from time to time, I show you exactly when it shows up and how I shift. My hope is that I inspire you to keep on going despite what your inner critic is telling you in the moment.

March 6th, 2024

Here we go! I wonder how often I will be shocked at what day I'm on. 

It is really fun to just write. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I'm actually living as life is now. 

I trust and know deep down that this will make a huge impact on my life and on the lives of others.

Previously when I was working as a consultant, I was losing hope. I didn’t see how what I was doing was going to lead anywhere. I'm sure it would have, but not anywhere I actually wanted to go. 

I remember thinking about all the things I needed to learn. Every company is different. There was no way to anticipate what I would need to learn next. So each engagement came with needing to do the work and learn on the fly. 

And in other circumstances in my life, that would not have been a problem. I love to learn. I love trying new things. Exploring new things. However, with this the work that I was doing, wasn't aligned with who I wanted to be in the future. 

I couldn't imagine myself spending all that time, work, and effort learning skills for someone else. And I wanted to learn skills for myself. Do what I love to do. Make an impact in a way that is unique to me. Sharing my gifts with the world. 

Now that I’m not in that work any more I get to focus on taking care of myself. I’ve gained 10 pounds in the last year. And on me. I’m 5 foot 1 inch and I'm short. So 10 pounds is a lot on my body. 

I know that when I feel better in my body I’ll also be able to be even more creative.

My inner critic is all over me on this topic and it’s weighing me down.

You’re just going to keep gaining weight 

You’ve tried so many times in the past and ended up failing

You’ve got too much going on now and you’ll never be successful in taking care of yourself. 

What’s the point in taking care of yourself if you’re going to fail anyway

Life is too short not to enjoy all the good stuff. Could you imagine a life where you never eat cookies or brownies or mashed potatoes?

You’re destined to be overweight because it runs in your family.

The tapes on this one run. And run. And Run. and run in my brain pretty much 24/7. 

I share because I know I'm not alone in this. It’s real. And today it’s really affecting me. These thoughts of my weight are keeping me from being creative and being fully present.

As I was writing it I just felt yucky and crummy. And what is great now is that I don’t have to sit in the mucky feelings that my ego ie the inner critic is making me feel.

Seeing it helps me capture the thoughts and put them in a peruvial jar, and that supports me in taking their power away.

Next I get to shift. And choose the thoughts I'm committed to thinking about myself.

What's funny is that the inner critic now is like When people read this, they are going to be like, this will never work for them. They are just going to check out and move on. This is like positive affirmations. We all know positive affirmations don’t work. 

Ok, Thank you inner critic for saying something. All of us absolutely have the power to shift our thoughts. You’ve just gotten so comfortable with thoughts like that. You don’t want people to know that they can change their thoughts. With practice it is possible.

So back to what I was saying. I don't have to listen to those thoughts. They don't serve me. I’m committed to living a healthy life. I feel so good when I eat well. I feel so good when I run and move my body. I feel so refreshed when I drink lots of water. 

And here is where the real shift happens. I get to choose committed action. Meaning. I get to choose which actions will support me in living a healthy life.

Such as.

Im committed to eating 140g of protein today 

I'm committed to drinking 100oz of water

I’m committed to working out

When I have a snack attack, I'm committed to chewing a piece of gum. (for example)

Our inner critic mind is so powerful. 

I know some people I’ve interacted with in the transformational space say not to give your inner critic too much air time, or no air time at all. However, I think it’s important to listen to it for a brief second. Any more than that, I can get wrapped up in its story. But by listening to it to hear it out, supports me and takes its power away. When I ignore it, The power only grows. So this process has really supported me.

What you may not know, or maybe you do. The inner critic and ego mind’s job is to keep us safe. It’s trying to protect us. Each of us has a unique sounding inner critic that has learned what to say to keep us safe. 

And the thing is Everyone has one. We will always have one. It will never go away. Because it is there to protect us. So we learn how to live with it. For me, I’ve been learning the difference between Innercritic Ego Krystal VS My authentic self. Those are two drastically different people. 

Inner critic ego krystal wants to live in isolation, watch TV all day, and just numb out by eating a bunch of junk food.

As authentic Krystal, I’m committed to living life in full authenticity, contributing my gifts with the world. Being in community with others. Being present with my children. Building a strong connection with my husband. Being healthy and fit. 

Before you go in and say, but I love watching TV and would also love to just be in isolation all day. Ask yourself, whose vision is that? Is it the ego or your authentic self? 

Because I will argue that is not who you are or who you were created with unique gifts to contribute to this planet. Sitting in isolation and watching TV is not your purpose. 

We all have that inner voice in us that says we were made for a greater purpose, maybe that voice in you has gotten quiet, but it’s there. 

I know your inner critic is coming out to fight me right now. And that is ok. 

My intention is for you to see the other side of what’s possible. 

My ego is out there too. But I don't always let it win.

I think that concludes for today. I will say I find it fascinating to see where each day takes me. I don't want to come up with any sort of plan for what I am going to write about. I just write. 

So thanks for coming along the journey today! Until next time.

With love,

Krystal