Day 54 - I feel so Low

April 22, 2024

The past 2 days have been really hard. 

I’ve felt incredibly low and depressed. 

All of these feelings of sadness, shame, guilt, embarrassment. 

Thinking that I’m a failure because I’m not out there crushing it yet. Being unbelievably hard on myself for not doing more or being more.

I tell myself, I’m just an introvert, and if I could just be an extrovert then I’ll be successful”

I feel stuck. I feel disoriented. I feel like every path right now is a question mark. 

I had finally gotten some direction, and then I needed to make a hard right to go and find another job. 

I feel so insecure that I can’t actually do this. 

This is probably the lowest I’ve felt in a really long time. And I just want to get out of this funk. I’m tail spinning. I think the only thing I can do at this moment is start to reach out to people about my books. I had already started making some messaging that could work. So I might as well try. 

At this juncture, I have no idea what will come of it or if It will even work, but I get to try.